Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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