the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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