after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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