i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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