i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
wow bdsm is so cute
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize