My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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