my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize