Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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