I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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