its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize