Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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