I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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