Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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