Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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