I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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