it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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