I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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