I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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