yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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