I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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