I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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