So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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