I want you more than these girls want KFC
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize