Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize