I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I stole a fireplace last night.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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