ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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