Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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