I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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