Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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