32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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