There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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