There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
BRING THE BAGELS
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize