Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You ruined the universe
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