Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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