I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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