Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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