you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I believe in your delicious
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize