I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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