Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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