yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize