i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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