I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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