At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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