We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
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Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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