I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize