yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize