But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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