Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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