Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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