Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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